All posts by Lo Potter

Book Review: How To Make Sure Your Life Doesn’t Suck By Maggie Gilewicz PhD

I will be refraining from giving a star rating and focusing on discussing the value of this book to audiences and potential difficulties some may face if they read it before they are ready to take in its information. A lack of star rating is NOT a bad review. I highly recommend this book to anyone that would benefit from Dr. Gilewicz work, of which I believe there are many, including individuals within the neurodiverse community.

Summary:

In “How To Make Sure Your Lie Doesn’t Suck” Dr. Maggie Gilewicz breaks down the basic principles of Inside-Out self understanding for an audience that may not be familiar with its use in branding, marketing, customer experience, data analytics and elsewhere in the business world. She introduces her readers to a holistic interpretation of the body of works by Michael Neill in a friendly and easy to digest way that takes the time to incorporate elements of psychology useful to the individual reader. Throughout this book she encourages readers to shift their focus to self-actualizing behaviors and reframed thought patterns as opposed to those governed by shoulds, woulds, and coulds as created by the pressures of society and outside forces we view as authorities. In language easily accessible to an audience without training in psychology, this book gives readers suggestions on how to find their own unique paths to embracing authenticity and happiness.

Overall Response (Caution: Spoilers) :

Dr. Gilewicz connects with her audience through anecdotes addressing transitioning our thoughts from the pressures of the world around us to thinking about what makes us happy and what we want in life. She does this without telling her audience what to want and how to be cautious of others telling them what they should want, encouraging critical thinking.

She shares how her thinking has changed on writing, exercise, minor childhood trauma, and fighting with her partner about making the bed, emphasizing how changing thinking helped her embrace the variability of her moods and the moods of others. Her words encourage readers to take responsibility for their own moods, emotions, and thoughts without over analyzing or passing judgment. With these anecdotes, she shows vulnerability and shares her own moodiness to explain how this is normal. She encourages readers to accept we are all human in this regard and to consider the moods and internal influences of those around us so we can improve communication.

Dr. Gilewicz takes the time to write the kind of book the self-help industry should be afraid of because it aims to tell the average neurotypical person that they’re okay just the way they are.

Even though she does not have a PhD in psychology, I’d like to emphasize that her PhD in sociology allows her to examine the problems of the individual from a societal, big-picture level and that truly comes through and shines in her writing as she provides compassionate and understanding insights for the average person. I do wish she would give herself more credit on this front.

So far I’ve used the words “neurotypical”, “average” and “normal” to describe the audience suited to read this book with no prior learning. That said, I believe this book has value beyond that limited audience. As a neurodiverse individual that uses inside-out thinking, I need to caution potential neurodiverse audiences that changing the way you think on its own does not stop the physiological/neurological responses of trauma, illness, or neurodevelopmental differences. Additionally, if you’re like me, it may be frustrating and take a long time to learn. There will be no “aha!” moment and instead be a gradual change back to an emotional/mental place that feels familiar, but you can’t explain it. You may come to find that inside-out thinking looks different for neurodiverse individuals and that’s okay. Using myself as an example, I have to over-analyze everything in a detached way similar to a child playing with a new toy as a means to determine which emotion I’m feeling in a language neurotypical individuals understand to communicate and, as a bonus, this provides me with a means of emotional regulation to interact with the outer world. There’s also the issue of intuition. Inside-out thinking works differently in neurodiverse individuals due to differences in how intuition works and you will need to learn your differences in intuition. As an example, I may be able to do rather bizarre mathematical and spatial calculations “intuitively” including looking for patterns and connections in data sets others may not have noticed, but I cannot do the same thing with my emotions. This is okay. Simply be aware, inside-out thinking for the neurodiverse brain is not covered in this book, but it’s not judged as wrong either. Once you know how your own neurodiverse “intuition” works, I still recommend reading this book to gain a unique perspective that demonstrates its benefits and some applications you might not have thought about.

There are limitations to this book and inside-out thinking. Inside-out thinking will not prevent or alter the physiological experiences of extreme grief when you lose multiple family members to death one after another in a short period of time or to a severe tragedy. It will not change the DNA methylation or histone modifications that are the result of severe trauma your grandparents or great grandparents experienced (as far as we know). It will not change the way your amygdala and adrenal glands physiologically responds to a trigger if you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (For this, I personally had good experiences with EMDR, music assisted EMDR – talk to a professional and see what they recommend for you). It will not change the chemical imbalances that can lead to dissociation or extreme distorted thinking. It will not change the neurological circuits associated with compulsions or the physiological damage associated with loss of impulse control or other loss of function diagnoses. Inside-out thinking will not fix everything, but it will help with resilience when you are faced with worst case scenarios. It will give you the ability to let go of the self judgment that your experiences are inherently wrong because there’s nothing wrong with them. With that understanding, you will gain the resilience to keep going through the absolute worst imaginable life events, even when it seems like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. It will also help you better use the tactics you’ve learned in therapy, such as reframing your thoughts and avoiding ruminations to not spiral into a nonfunctioning state. For audiences that resonate with the limitations listed, don’t let this book be your first introduction to the concept, but do not dismiss it. Go to a trained professional in psychology for therapy. You’ll recognize CBT, DBT, and other therapies subtly referenced in this book after working with a professional. When you are in an emotionally secure, safe place I encourage you to sit with Dr. Gilewicz’s book and take in her perspective because, beyond resilience, the parts where she encourages readers to keep growing and discover their innermost desires and addresses self-actualization (without using that word) is uplifting and essential for anyone.

Another audience that may struggle with this book are those with diverse neurodevelopmental experiences and/or those that have faced active interference from outside forces in response to immutable traits such as their neurodiverse status, sexuality, gender, chronic health status, or any aspect of their appearance. This book will not help you achieve your deepest desires in the face of a world that will put roadblocks in your way and will tell you “no” regardless of your legal protections. There are points in this book (or any book related to this topic) where a reader may say “what happened to me was not fate and did not have to happen! What about everything you said about free will?!” For this audience I still suggest inside-out thinking, but I remember a time when I thought what I was learning “felt” invalidating to my experiences. If you start to read this book and find yourself in that place, take a step back. Try again later. Do so when you can understand that Dr. Gilewicz wrote this with the absolute best of intentions: a place of love and to encourage a reader to make peace with the events that cannot be changed and to embrace how they have shaped you into the beautiful human you are instead of carrying your feelings around that event as baggage into the future. She wrote this book because she genuinely believes every single person reading it deserves to have a life that doesn’t suck.

In all honesty, while I do think audiences need to take a moment to ask themselves if they are in the right internal place to approach Dr. Gilewicz’s book, I think its information and the way it is presented is valuable. The language is accessible, avoiding jargon and keeping a friendly tone. It pushes individuals to think critically and purposefully about what they are incorporating into their lives and to consider how the way they process that information impacts their emotions. This book, much like the books “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” and “Furiously Happy” by Jenny Lawson, encourages readers to take control of their mental health and the way they view the “worst” events of their lives by trying to find the ability to reframe the narrative or situation so they can feel differently. And maybe even laugh.

LGBTQA+

I do believe this book to be valuable to an LGBTQA+ audience, though it does not address this audience directly.

Grammar+

This book meets or exceeds the 1 error/10,000 words industry standard.

About The Author & Where To Buy

Dr. Maggie Gilewicz is a sociologist and transformative coach living in London, UK. You can visit her website here or follow her on Twitter. You can purchase a copy of the book here.

Here’s Your Sign: Developing A Marketing Plan For A Book To Find An Audience

Your Book Is A Roadside Attraction

It says a lot about an area and the people that occupy it when they put up signs like this. Same with websites, social media accounts, and advertising – we can think of each of those things as these weird little signs that can point potential readers in our direction to stop along the road or they’ll drive on past us without a second glance.

If someone interacts with it via a ‘like’? That’s like a snapshot along the highway. It gives us a chance to show up in a friend of their’s feed.

Signs, ads, billboards, gas stations with interesting tourist traps, roadside attractions – if done right all of these will attract a steady stream of individuals that will take the time to stop for a while and be present. We’ve been doing this since ancient times and building legends, even pilgrimages around them. Why not do the same for your book?

Finding & Attracting Your Audience

I write poetry and American Gothic. I may incorporate additional elements, such as science fiction and futurism, but my best work is and always will be heavily influenced by grief, magical realism, questionable realities, and regional social commentary. Most of what I know about my audiences comes from WordPress analytics. This helps me know that while my top 10 countries for visitors in 2020 were:

  1. the United States
  2. the United Kingdom
  3. India
  4. Canada
  5. China
  6. Australia
  7. France
  8. Germany
  9. Finland
  10. Phillippines

Beyond this information, I don’t know much about my readers besides the google searches they use to find my website. And those keyword combinations? They make me smile, but they aren’t very helpful.

So, how do we, as independent authors and publishers, find our readers? How do we decide on where to spend our advertising efforts? How do we interact with social media? The answer is one that is anxiety inducing and one no one wants to hear: YOU or YOUR BOOK have to get the attention of an audience of potential readers by putting out the correct signs to lead them to your work. You have to hope that the law of numbers is on your side and for every thousand people looking at an ad, one person will click all the way through to buying your book.

I have a poetry book that’s being released later this month. How am I going to find its audience?

Breadth vs. Depth

When you first start marketing something, if you don’t know where your target market is hiding, you need to play a game. Be the pied piper and bring those readers out of the woodwork with your magical marketing flute by having your song go to where they are.

As much as we all love existing in our comfy social media reading and writing community bubbles, be it BookTube, #WritingCommunity, #WritersCafe, #PoetsOfInstagram, #PoetryIsNotDead, or your writing Facebook group. The reality is that’s not where the majority of your future readers are going to hang out. So where are they?

We’ll have to check a broad selection of sources before we can focus our energies on a depth of understanding of our eventually targeted audience.

Break your marketing budget up between time and money.

Your time will be dedicated to attracting readers by dedicating time to them without spending money to have others do it for you. There are lots of free or low cost options that are time intensive, but very rewarding in terms of readership response.

But there’s that first hurdle – designing an ad.

Design A Professional Ad That Targets Your Audience

I hate putting myself out there. I am socially awkward and constantly afraid of annoying people. Somehow my whole life I’ve been told that I both talk too much and too little. But here’s the thing: at the end of the day, no one is going to advocate for you in the way you need to advocate for yourself. So, I better go annoy some readers, because it’s impossible to please everyone and I never expected the whole world to like me.

But where do our readers hang out online and in real life? It’s quite possible they don’t hang out in the same places, or if they do, they’re not attracted to the same style of advertisements.

Every genre is marketed differently. I’m going to use the example of Romance as a genre that is well known for having a specific marketing style that is recognizable even if the words are absurd. World of Longmire did an entire feature on some generic romance novel covers that I’m going recommend you look at as examples because none of these are real books and I find them entertaining.

Just like a book cover, your ad should make your genre immediately recognizable without any text. IngramSpark puts out articles on cover design trends (here’s the one from 2020). The trouble I have with this article is that at least one of these design tactics ignores how many readers, myself included, look for that immediate non-verbal cue to inform a potential buyer of what the book is about.

Your advertisement is probably going to be based on your book cover. If you pay for a book trailer or make an advertisement in Canva be sure to check where all you can then take that ad. What are the requirements of your potential advertising platforms? These requirements are essential for preventing wasted time and money. Plan this in advance.

Where Do Paid Ads Go?

Independent Newspapers

Supporting other independent publications, such as your local independent newspaper in your closest major metropolitan area is a great way to keep your money supporting other independent authors. If you write stories that are regionally significant, you will likely find a reader base by advertising in this area as well.

If you have trouble thinking of which metropolitan area near you is “the city” think about which city nearby people moved to after high school to find work (if they moved). For me that was Richmond, Virginia.

If you have the budget in time for contacting each place, nothing is stopping you from advertising in a variety of independent newspapers in select areas across the country where you think you have a chance at attracting readers. Readers of independent newspapers are often attracted to other independent publications, such as ProPublica (yes, they accept advertising). Here are some independent newspapers currently advertising available space:

Independent Bookstores & Conventions

I know it’s hard to imagine right now, but there will come a day when meeting readers in person and showing your face will make a difference, especially in niche genres like Science Fiction, Fantasy, True Crime, Horror, and more. As an introvert, conventions are the most extroverted thing I do and they exhaust me. But the opportunities to get known are the thing to point out here.

At a talk hosted by Neil Gaiman in Pittsburgh in 2012 he mentioned the importance of conventions and writing conferences early on in his career. While I recognize that the indie writing and comic scene has changed somewhat since the 1990s, it has not changed as much as many people think. People like getting out of their house, and once more people have the vaccine, I believe this will happen again.

At conventions, authors have opportunities to sign up for panels, to give writing workshops, to volunteer to help host events, and run booths to sell their books and other merchandise (bookmarks, buttons, world maps, posters of book covers, etc). By being willing to get out from behind a screen and engage our readers in person we form connections that can’t be made through text on a page and give ourselves a voice and image. Plus, if you volunteer with the convention yearly, often times you get additional networking benefits such as meeting new people who may know other potential readers of your work.

If that sounds scary, it should. You should proceed with authenticity and caution, fully recognizing the limitations your innate human flaws create. To quote T. Swift “Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate,” and you should be prepared for that with no plans for retaliation. Be kind and show gratitude to your audience. Show this time and time again. Your thoughts will guide your actions. Think about your readers, even the ones that give you 1-star reviews, like a tiny choir of angels cheering you on (and remember that Satan was an angel too).

When you’re at a convention you’re genuinely not alone unless you choose to be. Friends and strangers interested in your book that could quickly become your readers will make your acquaintance.

While you’re waiting to foster the bravery for conventions, you can contact independent bookstores that are part of larger networks to see if they would be interested in an ARC of your book. This can lead to bulk orders to sell the books in their stores if they think it will sell. Myopic Books in Chicago will purchase used copies of your book from you (at a reduced rate, most likely at a loss) and sell them at a low cost if you get any returned. While you’re going through the effort of selling your book to independent bookstores, you can discuss with them the options to do live events to drive up interest in your book.

By encouraging readers to go through independent bookstores to purchase your book you are helping a local economy and community. You are becoming part of something greater than yourself. People remember this and word of mouth marketing is valuable. Make good impressions – these will travel far.

Take Advantage Of Your College / University

Remember that place that took your money in exchange for a degree and some unique memories, some of which you may be taking to your grave?

Take some time to reach out to your alma mater’s bookstore and say, “I’m an alum/alumna and I wrote a book! I would be very appreciative if you could sell a few copies on commission and add me to the section dedicated to alumni publications.” Some university bookstores make it even easier than that if they’re part of the Barnes&Noble college bookstore network and you’re already selling your book through them.

Every alma mater has an alumni newsletter – be it digital or print. You likely have access to an alumni network, even if you’ve never been in contact before. Take advantage of these resources and announce your book to them. There are usually forms to fill out, but they’re all pretty simple. Your spouse or partner can also do this for you with their alma mater.

Reach out to any of your former professors if they’re still teaching and see if they’d be interested in reading your book. You may be surprised by the answer. It will also encourage you to have the book in the most polished form possible before you send it out into the world.

Look into listing an ad for your book in your alma mater’s newspaper, especially if this has decent circulation. It’s important to note that you don’t necessarily have to be an alum of a school to run an ad in that university’s paper – check their rules.

University campuses are incredibly effective places to advertise books, especially if that age group is your target demographic. That said, if you’re writing a book about planning retirement late in life, maybe don’t try to sell that to someone who just turned 18.

Public Libraries

Public libraries are a quiet refuge where people that don’t know what they want to read can go and discover something new. That new thing could be you.

Another great place to donate copies of your book is your local public library. As you travel, you could also do this with the public libraries in the locations wherever you go. With the advent of digital lending it is a lot cheaper to offer free copies of your book to public libraries, but physical copies have the benefit of being able to sit on the “New Arrivals” display near the circulation desk.

Some public libraries host genre specific book clubs. See if you can submit your book to be on the upcoming reading list for one of these.

Many libraries will work with authors if they would like to plan and host a free event to promote their book. You may need to print out flyers or a poster detailing your target age range, genre, and what you plan to do with your audience, but this is a way to introduce yourself to a smaller group of potential readers. For more details, contact your local public library since policies and associated fees vary based on location.

The Social Media Fallacy

Social media isn’t very social. Between FOMO and the constant need to satisfy the dopaminergic attention seeking behaviors of yourself and others, you’re wading through a sea of noise. You will deal with people that will treat you as less than human and you will fight uphill battles against anyone with more money than you because the reality is that YOU are the product, not the Advertisements that are paying for you to see them.

Social media feeds are governed by algorithms that dictate every advertisement and post you are exposed to based on engagement patterns and paid sponsorship targeting. If you want to use social media to sell something to a different audience than the one you normally interact with, you will either need to create a different account for that type of interaction or you will need to work hard at using the exact hashtags for optimal exposure. That is, unless you are buying advertisements.

If you decide to buy advertisements you need to do so intelligently. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter each have methods for targeting a specific audience.

There are classes and books available on how to use social media algorithms and this is the area most talked about for independent authors at this time, so I’m going to leave this category here for now and not repeat what others have said.

Targeting Feed Advertisements

Take the time to learn how to engage your audience. If you are looking to engage an audience on Twitter to use the platform to advertise your work for free, create a strategy. You will want to learn how to do this with all platforms if you plan to minimize the amount of money you spend.

Newspaper and Magazine Book Reviews

As someone that reviews independent published and publisher books, I want to be very clear:

Best Sellers Happen Through Marketing

There are always exceptions. Many newspapers and magazines include editorial book reviews for new releases. It never hurts to contact someone and ask if your book can be added to that review pile. If it seems like someone could potentially be interested in your book, why not ask? What’s the worst they can say? No?

Tracking What Works

You will be receiving a lot of data as you market your book and start to sell it. What do you do with that? This is where we start cutting out excess spending in areas that aren’t helping us.

Create a milestone timeline for sales and advertising budget allocation. By 6 months – 1 year you should be allocating 80% of your budget (time and money) toward the advertising sources responsible for 90% of your sales. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to know everything when it comes to your readership. This is where interacting with your audience and getting to know them really matters the most.

Maybe you wrote a book that was NA, but your actual readership tends to be in the 30-45 age range? What if you thought your audience would be predominantly female and non-binary, but instead they’re male and non-binary? As authors our assumptions about who our readers are going to be can be wrong. Pay attention to who your readers actually are and embrace them as they are.

Do You Have Marketing Tips?

Do you have non-social media marketing tips that I missed? What do you think of these?

I hope this was helpful for those that are publishing independently and looking into marketing their work.

Book Review: Trajelon By Alyssa Marie Bethancourt

Front cover of Trajelon – The Way Of The Falling Star Book 2

Disclaimer: I received a copy of Trajelon in exchange for a review. While I attempt to keep my reviews as fair and unbiased as possible, it is important to note that I received this copy as a gift and read it in two sittings while traveling to/from Seattle while planning our upcoming move. Also, I have known the author since 2011, though I was unaware of her writing endeavors at the time.

Summary (Low Spoiler)

Before you proceed reader, I insist you go back and read the first book in this series: Mornnovin – you can buy it here. The digital version is currently on sale through 7 January 2021.

Welcome back to the world of Asrellion where, over 3,000 years later, the elves and humans are finally signing a peace treaty to officially end the genocide that sent all elves into hiding to the extent they were assumed extinct. Our Míyahídéna is still waiting for her prince of Grenlec to return from his quest to seek out the Elven god Vaian in the sea, and her coronation day is quickly approaching. But what will happen if he doesn’t arrive? And what evil forces lurking beyond the sea could be involved in preventing his return? As the ruler of Elvédíen becomes more erratic in her behavior and eventually disappears, what will her kingdom do?

Response (Spoilers & Content Warning)

Driven mad by the absence of the one other being to which her soul is magically bound, Loralíenasa descends into the depths of despair, bringing the reader along for the ride.

Dear reader, if you have never experienced a major depressive episode, dissociative episodes, personality changes due to severe trauma, or have first hand knowledge of various types of emotional, sexual, and physical abuse… you will. For readers that have experienced these abuses first hand, be assured that Bethancourt has taken great care in her writing on these topics. Chapter breaks, perspective changes, and timeline retrospectives are all used as mechanisms for grounding the reader when the scenes become too intense.

On the bright side, you won’t have to go through years of therapy after the fact to be able to recognize the warning signs for these traumatic experiences. Plus, you will enjoy the educational ride along the way through the incredible story telling mechanics, much like all of the Magic School Bus kids with their super secret Stockholm Syndrome.

If Mornnovin was the book to introduce us to Asrellion and the universe’s clashing cultures, Trajelon is the book that introduces us to the wide cast of characters. With this cast of a new and old characters, we explore the Elven world with new depth and breadth. With no character fully innocent, it’s easier to see these characters as flawed when put under duress. One thing is certain: every character has a unique perspective on events driven by their own motivations and this influences their actions accordingly. We also gain better understanding of how hard they work to appear as a singular presentation of their choosing on the surface as per their training with the Qíarnos – the “Seven Principles of Wisdom” and how these principles impact the culture we’ve come to expect from our cold, pointy eared companions.

With expansions on language and trade relations intermixed with customs, history, and a powerful storyline that will leave a reader emotionally scarred, but begging for more, Trajelon is the sequel we needed.

Yet another brilliant work of art by Bethancourt, Trajelon reveals that she can write epic adventures of the mind and spirit in addition to the sword.

LGBTQA

Major and minor characters represent all potential combinations and it is revealed that elves are very sexual creatures in ways that tend to be left to the imagination. While there are many questions I still have as a reader (re: Galvanos), I’m sure these will be answered in upcoming sequels. So many details have been slow, subtle reveals that are delightful puzzles in this series and I highly recommend readers paying attention to the uses of coding by the author.

Grammar+

This book meets or exceeds the 1/10,000 word error industry standard.

Twilight Zone Moment

What happened to the wedding ring? I know this is a very small and minor question, but I had to wonder.

About The Author And The First Book

You can read more about Alyssa Marie Bethancourt in her interview from last year here or on her website. Follow her on social media via Twitter. You can purchase a copy of Trajelon for yourself here or through amazon here (the digital versions of Mornnovin and Trajelon are on sale for $1.99 through 7 January 2021).

December Poetry Roundup

17 December 2020

Freedom is found
In knowledge sought
Connections imagined –
New dawning era of thought
Yet none speaks wisely
Who claim to know all
Pushing forth their opinions
As to not seem so small
Compensation calculation
For indiscretions of past
Look instead to the future
Nothing Can Last

11 December 2020

There’s a light in the forest
Beyond the break in the trees
Where water flows gently
Among the rustle of leaves.
Pardon the intrusion
Where humans should not be
I’ll return to the shadows–
Darkened path no one sees

9 December 2020

I hold space in the darkness
Where someday I pray
There will be light

8 December 2020

“Dans Macabre–” you say
With a permanent pearly grin
“It takes your breath away.”
As your long limbs sway
Stripped of their flesh
Now immortal as stone
With your clattering bones:
Restless soul with no home.


Thank you for taking the time to read my poetry today! These originally appeared on my Twitter account.