It’s been a while since I adulterated chocolate chip cookies. This time we went about it by making a triple batch of base dough, then split it into five parts. Four were frozen as logs to be thawed and adulterated at a later time. The fifth? We went ahead and tried out adding Old Bay.
After the giant batch of dough was made by tripling the method described here, we put some in a bowl and added a teaspoon of Old Bay Seasoning.
Now, some of you, if you’re anything like Jacob, do not trust me. You think, “wtf?! Old Bay?!”
I am from the part of the United States where we put Old Bay on everything – accidentally or purposely. Plus, you can’t tell me what’s normal, I’m descended from ship captains, chemists, geophysicists, engineers (both civil and otherwise), bootleggers, stockyard accountants, and FORTRAN/COBOL programmers. Do not twist, shred, crumple, and/or mutilate the cards for an accurate read out. We’re explorers of our curiosities and proud of it.
Knead the Old Bay through the dough until throughly mixed and form into a ball or log. At this step you could freeze your flavored cookie dough, but this is when we’re taste testing.
I wanted larger cookies, but you should be able to easily divide the dough into 12 dough balls.
Bake on the top rack (for a crispy bottom and chewy top, though get the dough cold first or it may rise too much). Checking that the dough is below 76 degrees prior to baking should be sufficient (this is the temperature at which coconut oil solidifies – the colder the better). I regret skipping that step. Do this after the dough balls have been formed.
The baking step should take about 10 minutes on a greased metal cookie sheet, but keep in mind the caveats mentioned in my previous post.
I’m happy to share that this combination was delightful! The cookies disappeared so fast that we failed to get reaction pictures.
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read about this creative adulteration of instant chocolate chip cookies. If you enjoyed this post, please like, share, and/or leave a comment. This helps me know which posts my readers like best. I encourage readers to try new things, experiment, and don’t be afraid to replace ingredients if you’re allergic to them. You’d be amazed what you might discover!
I love exploring new and unusual foods that break the normal monocultures people expect – particularly, wild edible foods.
It had been a while since I did a recipe comparable to the Ship of Theseus, so it seemed time to make that happen again. I hope everyone is ready 🙂
Pictured above are Saskatoon berries. While similar to huckleberries or blueberries, Saskatoon berries do have a higher quantity of amygdalin than some other fruits and this breaks down into hydrogen cyanide. Eating too much of any fruit containing large amounts of amygdalin will you sick, but heat will break this down easily.
But how do you use them? In baking! Today, I’m going to share my recipe for Saskatoon berry biscuits. I based the recipe on one for blueberry drop biscuits, but I made quite a few significant changes to all of the ingredients to the point that it’s no longer the same recipe. Additionally, please keep in mind that the baking process heats the berries to a toasty 500 F (260 C) for ~10 minutes and helps guarantee that the berries are safe to eatfor sensitive populations.
It’s important that you always wash berries before you cook with them. I removed all kinds of twigs and things from these before I added these to the dough, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
So, besides approximately 1 cup* of Saskatoon berries, what other supplies will I need? You can replace 1 cup of Saskatoon berries with a cup of huckleberries or local wild blueberry relative – I’m sure Maine blueberries would be divine!
*I include metric measurements for all of my ingredients at the bottom of this post
Because I try to reduce the overall sugar content of these recipes, I use Truvia sweetener baking mix.
I make my own self rising flour using Namaste flour blend (though you can use any cup for cup gluten free flour blend containing xantham gum). You may find that you need to adjust the ratios depending on the humidity and elevation of where you are living. I baked these biscuits at 3500 feet (1067 meters) above sea level and about 30% humidity.
The next task is to combine all dry ingredients called for – in this case it’s the sugar substitute and the self rising gluten free flour blend. Make sure to take your time with this step because uneven mixing can create issues. The one thing I would have changed while making this recipe is that I would have added a sifting step (I do not own a sifter).
Before we go any further, make sure your oven is preheating to a toasty 500 F (260 C) and get a vent fan going. At that temperature if you have anything baked to the inside of your oven, your smoke alarms will let you know.
Next, we add the dairy free milk option.
Let’s make something really clear: I’m from The South. I like my fats. They make everything taste good. In the drop biscuits I grew up with we used butter and full fat buttermilk, so I thought why not use coconut oil and canned coconut milk?
It takes a bit more effort though – because canned coconut milk comes out looking like this:
Doesn’t that look appetizing?
To fix this, place the bowl in the microwave for 15 seconds, then stir, and repeat until smooth. You’ll end up with a homogenous and smooth coconut milk.
Okay! We have all of our wet ingredients, fats, fruits and dry ingredients. Before we go any further be sure to double check your berries for stems and ripeness.
Next, add the coconut oil and start cutting (with 2 knives) the coconut oil into the dry ingredient mixture until you end up with dry pea sized granules.
Next, slowly add your coconut milk little by little and continue cutting in until the dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl and the majority of the mix looks moistened.
It should looks something like what I have pictured below:
Now, add your berries and very gently (as to avoid squishing them) fold in your fresh berries. I did the folding part with a flat wooden spoon.
Once fully incorporated, move to a plastic or silicone mat and get a wooden rolling pin (marble or silicone may work here too) and gently roll out dough mass into a 1 inch (~2.5 cm) thick mass. I used a medium sized biscuit cutter, but the choice is yours. A smaller sized biscuit cutter will likely double the yield.
Continue to cut, transfer to a greased cookie sheet. If you can’t cut, reshape and gentle roll out without pushing the dough down with force – you do not want to squish the dough particles together!
A medium biscuit cutter yielded 8 biscuits, but the small may yield closer to 12-16 depending on how big your small sized biscuit cutter is.
Once the biscuits have started to get a nice golden brown appearance on top they are cooked through. Go ahead and take them out of the oven, but let them cool to at least 100 F (37.8 C) before serving. Cook time will vary based on a number of factors – these took approximately 10 minutes in our gas oven.
I’m so happy to have been able to share this recipe of Theseus with you today! While none of the ingredients matched the original version I based this on, it turned out fantastic. Therefore, I am going to put it out into the world and call this one a success.
2 cups (480 g) gluten free self-rising flour
1/3 cup (80 g) truvia baking sugar substitute
1/4 cup (60 g) coconut oil, non-melted
2/3 – 3/4 cup (160 – 180 mL) canned coconut milk, warmed and blended smooth
1 cup (240 g) fresh Saskatoon (or other local wild) berries (frozen may work too)
Did you give this recipe a try? What did you think? Have you ever cooked with Saskatoon berries? Are you a fan? Let me know in the comments below!
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read about this recipe. If you enjoyed this post, please like, share, and/or leave a comment. This helps me know which posts my readers like best. I hope you are well and I encourage you to try new things, experiment, and don’t be afraid to replace ingredients if you’re allergic to them. You’d be amazed what you might discover!
The “passive aggressive” got added in there because a lot is happening in the United States right now. There are a couple wrong turns with this recipe. I’ll admit that it’s an invention based on this one I created in a way similar to that story about the Ship of Theseus.
All of what’s happening right now in the United States though? That’s where I got distracted today. There’s a lot. I’m trying to hold back because my words here aren’t the ones you should be listening to. Listen to the disenfranchised that are trying to make their voices heard.
I’m getting ahead of myself.
Ingredients and Supplies
If you’re going to make this recipe with me, you’re going to need to gather some ingredients – no specific brand should be necessary:
Frozen Blueberries (Costco sells big bags)
Lemon Juice (There’s a theme here)
Cup for Cup Gluten Free Baking Flour (I use Namaste from Costco)
Stevia In The Raw or equivalent (I’m not sponsored, but I might have a Costco problem)
Almond Milk (Okay, we’re calling it a Costco solution)
Coconut Oil (Costco non-polar solvent)
Supplies To Grab:
1 Large Mixing Bowl
1 Medium Mixing Bowl
1 Small Mixing Bowl
1 9″ Round For Your Great Idea
1 18-muffin baking tin
Muffin tin liners
Measuring cups / Kitchen Scale
While you look for those, I’m letting Jacob takes over. [You will continue to see Jacob’s thoughts in italics]
It’s weird how normal everything seems here, in Montana. I worry about the future of the United States and I have absolutely no idea of what that means to me, to us, here. The steady increase in violence from our government is terrifying. I wonder when it will reach here (or if, but I wonder if that’s too hopeful). But we’re in a low population density state. I can’t yet decide if I’m glad or disappointed that everything that’s going on is so far away.
If you’re following along, then you may have noticed that we have liquid ingredients and dry ingredients. I bet you can guess what I’m about to do next.
For your dry ingredients combine the following:
2 cups (0.47 l) of the gluten free flour blend
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 tsp baking powder
6 tbsp (75 g) stevia in the raw (or whichever baking stevia)
I whisk those together until evenly distributed and get distracted again.I want the protesters to return home safe and alive at the end of this storm. Refocus. Regroup.We have liquid ingredients too. Whisk together almond milk, lemon juice, vanilla, and egg.
1 large egg
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup (120 mL) almond milk
You may see something that looks a little like curdling. It’s almond milk, lemon juice, vanilla extract and egg. Don’t freak out. Keep calm and carry on, etc.
Measure out 1/2 cup (120 mL) of coconut oil (soft and pliable, not hard), then look everywhere for your pastry cutter. Once you find it, cut the coconut oil into your blended flour mixture until homogeneously incorporated. While I’m doing that, I definitely got distracted again.
I’m Distracted Again.
I keep reading about the violence and the destruction of these places I know and am from.
Statues and museums can be replaced by new, better statues and museums that discuss the same history. Maybe these new ones won’t be meant to remind an entire portion of the population that white people still have power in the South.
I don’t consider those protesters violent.
They are not taking life, and they are not injuring anyone.
I miss the days when it felt like, over time, the world was becoming a better place.
Using a wooden spoon smash the blueberries in as I gently mixed them into the scone dough.
I tried not to destroy them, but during my distraction the blueberries melted. I try to form them.
Next I have my round pan ready to form my scones. Supposedly, I do this by transferring everything to the pan, then cutting it with a knife after it has sat in the freezer for a bit.
Baking The Scones
I prepare the pan by cutting out parchment.
I put the pan in the freezer for 5-10 minutes to help it firm up.
I give up on the first idea after transferring all the dough into the pan. I have no idea how I’m going to separate it with a knife. I try, and I fail. Then I realize that I forgot to preheat the oven.
The blueberries are melting more – they are weaker than before – the thin blue wall around their exterior is failing them.
I re-smash the blueberries and scone dough into a muffin pan with muffin liners. They’re still scones – they’re not round scones or nice looking scones.
They’re downright disaster scones for a downright disaster of a day, a week, a month, a year?
They bake at 400 F (204 C) until golden brown. This was about 25 minutes in a gas oven (non-convection setting).
Glazing The Scones
We finish these off with a lemon glaze. 2 tablespoons of lemon juice and accidentally pour the remainder of your bag of powdered sugar into the bowl because… oops.
Stir until no clumps remain.
I served them up with Whittard’s Chelsea Garden tea. This is one of my favorite teas and comforts me because I tend to prefer floral and citrus flavors.
What would I do differently next time?
Use canned coconut cream instead of coconut oil.
To lighten the mood Jacob has a joke to share:
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One’s really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Verdict? At least the scones and tea taste good. Next time: gluten free dairy free pesto risotto with black caviar. Jacob and I will leave you with a teaser of our next dish, warm wishes, and thoughts.
Be compassionate. Be safe. I support you and I hear you. Black Lives Matter.
FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
ALL LIVES DON’T MATTER UNTIL THE LIVES OF THOSE THAT FEEL THEIR LIVES ARE AT RISK AT ALL TIMES BY BEING ALIVE IN THIS COUNTRY MATTER.
What did you think of this installment of Lo Is Domestic AF? Are you planning to try out this scone disaster and improve upon it? If you do, I hope you don’t get as distracted. If you would like to see more of these, please comment below or like this post.
But I really like cookies and my sister has gotten me craving cookies. I blame you dear sweet sister, Becky.
Except, unlike her, I am not an angel of the kitchen. No. I create abominations behind closed doors. I present to you:
The Pillsbury Gluten-free [Cayenne Surprise] Chocolate Chip Cookie*
“But Lo,” You ask, “What’s the surprise if you tell us the cayenne is in it?”
Well, most people aren’t prepared for a cayenne chocolate chip cookie made with coconut oil instead of butter.
Don’t forget to preheat your oven to 375F because Pillsbury says,“🦆 the metric system!”
That’s 1/2 cup of softened coconut oil, couple dashes cayenne pepper, 1 tablespoon tap cold water, and an egg.
Blend until decently homogeneous such that unsuspecting husband cannot see the cayenne pepper flakes.
Advise him that he can taste how spicy they are if he would like. Watch as he makes his “ew that has raw egg in it” face.
Laugh on the inside as you taste it and suggest adding more. He says, “No.”
Elevation seems to impact cooking time a lot for this baking mix. At 3205 feet elevation (at MSO) the cook time is approximately 10 minutes. I have made this recipe at 6000+ feet elevation and 10 minutes was not the correct time. Both were gas ovens, but there are other variables to be aware of.
Listen, gluten-free baking is weird and I’m constantly whispering incantations like “you better work you 🦆ing box of baking soda tasting 💩 “ over it. I’m not a wizard, contrary to what my last name may lead some to believe.
Once the cookies are out you have to let them cool a little, then detach them.
Next comes the fun part – the cayenne.
Dust the cookies with cayenne then transfer to a rack to finish cooling because I obviously trust you to do the right thing. Right?
Psych! Get that second batch in the oven and get your favorite homogenized nut juice some weirdo is insisting you call nut milk. Pour a glass and get a plate with at least 2 cookies.
If you are using horchata instead, you’re the true goddess, my friend.
Are you ready?
Yay! 2/2 approve! Cayenne Surprise is the good kind.
So What’s The Surprise?
The spice sneaks up on you. The tingling starts around your lips and crawls around in your throat balanced with the flavors of chocolate and cookie. It’s subtle, but you can’t eat too many. The cayenne isn’t super noticeable visually. It adds a brightness close up. Overall, I’d say this was a success. Have you tried similar with a different chocolate chip cookie mix or recipe? How did it turn out?
What should I try to add to cookies next? Do you have another domesticpotentialdisasterfor me to attempt? Comment below!