Tag Archives: cooking fail

Lo is Domestic AF: Tie-Dye Pie (Mild Fail)

Fourth Of July Jell-O? Oh No.

What started out as an attempt at carefully crafted Jell-O art quickly became a disaster turned new creation and summer tradition.

Jacob loves tie-dye. He’s living in tie-dye hoodie II – the slightly darker sequel. To celebrate the Fourth of July, I wanted to get out of the house. I am a fan of Randonautica (it’s kind of like a weird spin on geocaching without the human caching). I’m showing you that picture first because it’s prettier and it had to wait until after my kitchen disaster.

The Disaster Begins With A Jell-O Mold

It all started with me wanting to make a bundt molded Jell-O with a regular cake pan-molded Jell-O to then fill with lemon-vanilla pudding and top with whipped cream. Sounds simple enough, right?

It would have been if I had nonstick spray and hadn’t resorted to using coconut oil to grease the pans. This was a horrible mistake. I put the powder dissolved in hot water into pans coated in coconut oil. So many levels of disaster.

A few hours later I decided I had to get the Jell-O out of the pan. Somehow, this was when I realized the error of my ways and not before. With the Jell-O mold ruined, I decided to invent a new recipe to recover everything! Behold – Tie-Dye Pie (without the crust this time around. I’d recommend using a graham cracker or equivalent crust).

The Recovery And New Recipe

Next up, I decided to make the filling, since the Fourth of July is a Keep Calm and Blow Stuff Up kind of day. I combined a shot (1 fl. oz) of Torani French Vanilla syrup (we use Sugar Free, you don’t have to), Jell-O lemon instant pudding, and a can of coconut milk. Using a hand mixer I blended this on medium for 3 – 4 minutes.

Next, in my Pyrex pie pan I layered everything together, Blue Jell-O. Sickly lemon yellow pudding. My history of culinary mistakes. Throw them all in there in layers.

Now, once that shameful mess is slopped together, do not stir. Instead, try to hide it under a nice layer of whipped topping. To make this extra American, we’re not making our own whipped topping – we’re using the store bought polymers.

Look at that unnatural creation. From the side, it looks like I should have filled it with little drink umbrellas and gummy fish.

Here’s the fun part – now stick a giant spoon in that pie and start scooping it out. Watch the transformation into your dish!

Now, you have yellow and blue tie-dye pie! You can do this with any color of Jell-O and one of the more colorful options of instant pudding (I would recommend pistachio or lemon).

Taste Test Verdict?

Now that we survived that disaster, it’s time to eat it. I found this dessert to be way too sweet for me, but that may make it perfect for kids. I love that the Jell-O pudding and gelatin keep their colors separate in the serving process and help to create that fun tie-dye illusion. I can imagine this becoming even better with a deeper dish, like one used for a torte, and a rainbow of Jell-O gelatin options layered with the instant pudding.

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Lo Is Domesti AF and my Fourth Of July food disaster. If you enjoyed this, please be sure to share, like, and/or comment. This helps me know which types of posts my readers prefer.

As always, thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this post. It means a lot to me that these words aren’t trapped forever on a server where they never see the light of day (or your computer screen).

Lo Is Domestic AF: Homemade Sauerkraut FAIL

This year we joined a CSA to support the local economy and are likely to continue doing so moving forward. We received cabbage in one of our weekly shares, so we decided to use Joshua Weissman’s recipe for sauerkraut. His recipe is not to blame. I take all the blame on this one. Jacob says he wants to take some of it too.

Unfortunately, this did not go as planned. Three days in everything seemed okay. We extended to the full seven days. Maybe that’s where we went wrong.

First, we lifted the bags full of water off the top of the cabbage. Immediately, something wasn’t right. I have a very sensitive nose. Jacob really had to shove his face in there to get a good whiff. He refused to allow me to take a picture of his reaction, so I agreed to put my face in it so he could get a truly emotive video.

I smelled rotten, vomit inducing cabbage for all of you. I hope you’re happy. No. I did not eat it. 🦆 🤢 🤮

I hate wasting food, but I want to learn how to make these things. I will do full troubleshooting later, but I think I will use more pH based microbial selection for lactobacillus in the future. That means buying litmus paper and doing daily testing, plus adjusting the pH using vinegar.

You may have noticed that we had two jars. That’s because I wanted red pepper flakes in one of the batches. I can’t say anything for what this did because they both smelled so bad.

In other news: we’re out of risotto rice, so there’s been a delay in making our pesto risotto, but we have made another new batch of vegan pesto. I can post that recipe next. Additionally, we have a lot more of those chocolate chip cookie mixes for us to doctor with random things. I would love to hear suggestions!

If you enjoyed this, please like, comment, and/or share this post. I would love to hear what strange ingredients you want to try mixing into chocolate chip cookies. Turmeric might be a good one 🤔

Thank you for reading. I hope everyone has a wonder weekend and a beautiful summer solstice ☀️🌈🌞