Tag Archives: loneliness

Announcement: Twitch Channel

Hey Everyone!

I now have a channel on Twitch so you have an opportunity to hang out with me while I’m reading antique books, editing photographs, researching photographs, writing, and doing historic document research. As a general warning: my research on primary documents from the 19th and early 20th century can be disturbing. I find out information on what society believed during this time period that may be distressing to some individuals, so viewer discretion is advised.

On occasion I would like to also get our uploading capabilities set such that I can play Steam games with friends, or even Among Us.

Each stream will be titled based on what I am doing. I will get side tracked. In my first stream today I got side tracked with a hand-and-cheek tug-o-war vaudevillian style impromptu comedy performance and it was *fun*. Other interruptions you can expect will include Nyxie playing the piano and Jacob popping into chat.

It’s 2020. I need an excuse to start putting on make up and doing my hair. I need an excuse to start speaking aloud to get used to the sound of my own voice again. I need to interact with human beings outside the house in a way that isn’t potentially life threatening.

I haven’t come up with a streaming schedule yet. Most likely it will be for only a couple hours at a time Monday through Friday. Any weekend hours will be a shocking surprise.

As I work to get this set up, I appreciate patience. At this time, I am limited by frustrations with Spectrum internet being our only option and also *the worst*. Don’t know what I mean?

This is my maximum capability right now.

That’s not really great if I want to interact with people or do much on Twitch. So, we’re working on it. I’m looking forward to being able to interact in real time.

My first stream went live and I hope I didn’t scare too many people away as we were discussing John Cowan, M.D.’s 1915 version of his book “The Science Of A New Life” where we examined an example of the intersection early feminism, the Temperance Movement, the American Eugenics Movement, American Spiritism, Mesmerism, and the many other social movements that were going on prior to the U.S.’s involvement in World War I.

The Adventures Of Toad – Part 1

Photo by Slawek K on Unsplash

“I can’t do anything right,” cried the wood toad to the frog.

“What do you mean?” the frog licked his eyeball and looked up from The Daily Flypaper.

“People are always upset at me for something or another. They call me slimy and warty and all these other names.” The toad rubbed a foot over his soft leathery skin that was neither slimy, nor warty. “I’m never wanted, and if I breathe in the wrong place someone tries to run me over with a bicycle or a car.”

“Have you tried not being in the wrong place?” Said the frog as he looked back down at The Daily Flypaper. His tongue ricocheted off an unsuspecting gnat mid-flight and re-entered his mouth.

The toad filled his bellows and let out a croaking sigh. “Why? Do you think I haven’t already tried that?” The toad hopped a little farther along his path, though he didn’t know where it went. “I don’t know why I’m always in the wrong place.”

The frog hopped closer to the pond. “Well, maybe you haven’t found the right place where you belong. I belong in the pond and no one tells me I’m in the wrong place.”

“Lucky you.” The toad rolled his eyes and flicked his nictitating membranes. “It would help if I knew more toads and fewer frogs.”

The frog left the flypaper on the ground and without a word proceeded to the pond.

“Great,” the toad thought aloud, “I’ve chased another creature away. So I’m friendless and always out of place.”

“I know someone that might be able to help you.” The shuddering leaves and branches above him said. When the toad looked up he saw a large owl perched with a raven.

“And why would you help me? Don’t you both eat toads?” The toad gulped, ready to dash for the holes near the roots of the tree.

“That depends – I hear miserable creatures taste awful.” The raven looked at the owl, ruffling her feathers.

The owl in kind hooted with laughter. “I’m not interested in eating anything that doesn’t taste good. Maybe I’ll eat you if you ever come back here happy.” The owl preened a bit and observed her surroundings as the dusk continued to fall. “There’s a witch on the edge of the woods. That witch will help you find true happiness. Follow the walking path from the pond to her stone cottage to her garden. There you’ll find her and be able to ask for help with your problem.”

The raven let out a low, mocking laugh. “Yes. Your problem. Not ours. Now, on your way.”

The toad turned to the path ahead. He was going to have a long night.


I hope you enjoyed Part 1 of The Adventures of Toad. Feel free to like, comment, or share. The comments section is reserved for readers to share their thoughts on the story with me and please have fun! I try to get comments read and posted quickly – moderation helps to prevent spam.

3000 Miles – A Poem

Another forgotten poem – this one seems to be about a high school crush? Maybe? I recognize that those following my writing may be sick of seeing these. I will be trying to mix this up more.

I don’t remember the context of this poem. While going through this folder of old poems this one stuck out to Jacob – potentially because it meant something to him when he read it. Maybe it will mean something to you too.

Going through long distances relationships that don’t work out is hard. As we grew up we both experienced this and perhaps that’s the chord it hit.


Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

3000 Miles

I don’t know what else to say
You’re over 3000 miles away
A heart can stretch great distance yet
A heart can get lonely, like anyone gets

A simple crush, then turned down hope
Nothing settles you, I’ll have to cope
You’ll never have to hear from me again
I’ll disappear because I love you, my friend

This betrayal is tearing me apart
At least I was honest, but then again you aren’t
I hear things about you from other people
The lies I’ve heard make me scream

I don’t understand everything that’s happening
All I know is that I love you
And I’ve given up on everyone and everything
Good bye, take care, I love you

That’s all you need to hear.


Thank you for taking the time to read this poem today! Have you ever found any of your old writing? What did you think of it? What do you think of this one? I’d love to hear in the comments!

If you’d like to see more of my forgotten poetry, please like, comment, and/or share this post. It helps me know what content my readers are most interested in seeing, so I can better know what to share here.

My Soul Is A Kite – A Poem

Photo taken as part of the dark sky photography trip this past weekend

As I compile my past work into poetry collections that may or may not be shared, I have decided to break a couple out. You can expect these to be shared over the next few weeks. Written in 2008 (and edited before posting), here is “My Soul Is A Kite”:

My Soul Is A Kite

it crawled up on me
like snow falling on satin
this unshakable feeling
that I must go

the wind blows
and my soul is a kite
billowed and caught
by this invisible clout

though here I am loved
if I stay I will die
as any flower withers
beneath too much sun

so release all the twine
and let me fly away
I will wave eagerly
as the zephyr laps
and I will join the waves
that crash into the sky

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this poem, please share it with a friend and/or like and comment below. I appreciate every person that reads this – without you these words would carry no meaning beyond my own mind.